Primary World

I. feel. so. down. now.

I shouldn’t write much. That event is very hurting.

Shall not say much. They said to end most of plus her privacy. But you should know, since I’m a big fan of SNSD, you should know who I’m referring to.

Yes, Kim Taeyeon.

and Yes, I love her. (as an idol)

Also, I respect her.

As much as I want skinship(handshake, etc) with her, I wont do so until she offers it herself.

And you know what, Thank You SCHOOL for planning a WONDERFUL programme. You know what? If the programme wasn’t planned/ compulsory, I could have caught a glimpse of Kim Taeyeon in front of my eyeballs. These pair of eyeballs have seen Brown Eyed Girls, FT Island, T-Max and many more. These pair of eyeballs too, wanna catch real life SNSD.

Oh don’t worry I’M VERY FINE. Just let a CHANCE slip by my grasping hands.

Especially today, I plan to stalk find Taeyeon after my Cooking Programme. The programme needed us to bake bread. Yes bread, bread that Kim taeyeon said she loves a lot. I specially try to make it nice and all, I even kept 3 for her since I’m on the same land as her. That’s why, I didnt eat those. I guess I’ll either be eating them by myself or even threw it away. Today is not meant to be a good day for me.

I don’t wanna offend anyone so I’m not mentioning anything. I just hope Taeyeon don’t get the wrong image of the country. And I hope Taeyeon do not think that 1 or 2 equals to everyone.

Morning, heard from Elly, Taeyeon’s here. Shocked. Excited. Mixed emotions. But in a good way. Got so excited in class was searching all info for it. Then everything started pouring in. Feels so updated. Plans to skip Cooking Programme for Taengoooo butbut.. I’m scared of the consequences. Since it’s BUNS, I shall go (:

At that point, Yes, i felt over the moon. Probably even over the universe. Being in the same country as Kim Taeyeon and family. First time, ever.

But, i got no intentions of stalking her. I just wanna let her know, I’m always here as her fan as long as she and SNSD continues living. But I guess after today, I couldnt be there all the time for SNSD. If I was there, I prolly would do something to those otakus.

Now, mixed of emotions part 2. Angry + sad. My one and only chance flew. Kiss it goodbye, no. Continuously I look at the sky, maybe I can see you but I guess, it’s hard now.

Taeyeon-sshi, I apologise on behalf of those fans who gave a scare, a shock and maybe anger. My dream to see you smile here in front of me, gone.

Everything.

Is Gone.

Hope your family had a happy vacation afterall.  Much love.

She will never see this, but, I just need to convey my feelings out. It’s hurting, a lot.

Everything, is turning upside down.

It’s this same feeling I felt back in 2005.